No Bittersweet! Goodbye! Good Luck! Good Love!!

She honoured her self with the truth, even if he couldn't; even if he believed he did & he didn't!  She didn't know where she wore her  heart but it sure aint on no sleeve any more.  For as long as she can remember, she never did relationships like many people she thought did.  But despite that, she had figured out by now that as a daddy's girl who lost her daddy's love far too early for reasons too sad to reiterate here and now, she never stopped looking for and loving her daddy.  He will always be "daddy" to her and is still alive and kicking it somewhere and although most of her other siblings ( & there are so many of them, of which she is the eldest), have not a good thing to say about his role as father, she  knows her "daddy" is not a bad man, just weak, very sad, very true and very weak.  Even sadder is that he chose weakness over the responsible role of teaching his little girl how to love and choose and trust a future partner.

Daddy's girl searched for an eternity for her prince charming, her knight is shining armour & fell flat on her arse each time she came across a distorted vision of whatever she believed was the "real deal".  Crying over spilt milk for much of her adult life and now she has reached the golden gates (aaaaaaaahhh!) of middle age and thankfully she has arrived.  She has arrived and she is safe; her heart is firmly beating with joy in the right place!


What a long and bitterly lonely path she travelled and there is no blame to be cast as choices were made and finalised and growth has been experienced; there is no price you can pay for that!   She learnt from a very early existence to spell r-e-s-p-o-n-s-i-b-l-i-t-y!  & took it by the mantle and wore it round her neck like a badge of honour.  She is hmmmm...? grateful?  for the pain, the beat downs  that came in physical, emotional, spiritual and mental phases and she learnt to recognise and walk straight with her head up and not sink struggling to swim in  D-NILE a river too deep to carry the burden of shame that others whisphered behind her back...Ssssssssssh!!!  Huh!  Pick herself up and dust herself off she did; many, many , many times after she let the dust settle to process it a little that is.

But this time round, this ending is different.  No bittersweet endings here for her at least not this time.  She heard the whisper from High on in her Soul and did what she felt best and bided her time.   She knew that true love would shine through this time and she truly trusted that;  yes this time she trusted the Power that is.  She listened to her heart and felt the rumble and it moved her to centre stage and the truth that shamed revelations.  There was no time for tears or bittersweet memories.  Sweet liberty came for her to surrender and she left the room with her heart intact, and she didn't blink an eye.  Her "daddy" if he knew his daughter as well as he thought he did, would be so proud of her.

I Love you Gyal!  You have arrived at centre stage!  Be love for yourself and resonate!